


The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth

by Haberdasher



Category: Elsewhere University (Webcomic)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Fae & Fairies, Fae Magic, Gen, Truth, Truth Spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21786013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haberdasher/pseuds/Haberdasher
Summary: A manifesto written out and distributed across all of Elsewhere University by a single anonymous student.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth

_The truth is the finest of knives for cutting through the webs of lies that surround us all._

If you’ve read the sentence above, you should really keep reading, or else things might get... messy.

That first sentence there isn’t just some pretty metaphor, it’s magic woven into words somehow. I heard someone say it at a revel last Saturday night, and now I can’t lie, either out loud or in written text. Through some experimentation, some trial and error, I’ve determined that it’s that sentence, heard or read, that does it.

...some of you are probably scoffing at the references to magic and revels there, so I should probably get that whole thing out of the way, even though those of us who are already Involved will probably be rolling their eyes the whole time.

Magic is real, and it surrounds us all, especially here on campus. Those old campus traditions are around for a reason, and that reason isn’t just bringing us all together or preserving what makes our school unique or whatever crock of lies they told you during orientation. Magic is real, and the Fair Folk are real, and you need to be wary of them both, especially if this is the first you’re hearing of it.

If you don’t believe me, just open your mouth and try telling a lie out loud. Any lie you can think of. Say your name is John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt. Say you’re nine hundred and thirteen years old. Say your skin is neon green. Anything.

You can’t, can you?

Told you so.

Also, people saying “revel” aren’t just being pretentious weirdos, revels are... _different_ from regular on-campus parties. It’s hard to say how, exactly, except that there’s more magic and Fair Folk involved. They’re hard to describe in general, really, but you’ll know one when you see it. Well, _if_ you see it. They’re not everybody’s cup of tea, I suppose.

So, now that that’s out of the way, back to the specific bit of magic we’re dealing with here.

Can’t lie. Not in text, not in speech. Metaphors work often enough, sarcasm occasionally gets through, but overall, what you say has to be what you think is true.

(Note that “what you _think_ is true” bit there. You can’t use this to figure out the great cosmic truths of the universe unless you already know them somehow. Trust me, I tried that. No such luck.)

Yes, this is similar to what the Gentry have been dealing with since... I don’t know, forever? I doubt it’s a coincidence, but I don’t know for sure. All the other stuff is the same though; if you’re human, you can still touch salt and iron, that sort of thing. Just the lying’s gone.

One step closer to them, maybe. One less tool left in our toolkit.

You’re probably wondering, if you’ve read this far (and I do hope you have), why I’m spreading all this in the first place.

I’d like to say that I have some high-minded reason for doing it, spreading knowledge or a magical compulsion or something else that would leave me utterly blameless.

But, well, I can’t lie. And that’s made my life surprisingly tricky recently, as it happens. So...

You know the old phrase “misery loves company”?

Yeah, it’s something along those lines, more than anything else. If I have to suffer through this, so do you.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, consider following me on tumblr at [haberdashing](https://haberdashing.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
